Let's Combine Shows! American idol+CSPAN+Maury!

I am so tired to half way good TV shows. I think what if Hollywood and I would just sit down we could combine some TV shows to make them way better. I'm tired of the same old stuff day in and day out on TV (then why don't you get out of the house and get a hobby Cody?....um shut up.)

1. American Idol + CSPAN+ Maury = American For Real

In this new show we would do what needs to be done and eliminate this retarded music show called American Idol and have people compete for a job that actually matters. Lets face it, we need another pop star like a hole in the head? How many is to many? Am I the only one who thinks that Adam Lambert needs to walk into oncoming traffic? How about we get politicians together and make them compete in challenge to prove they are not owned by corporations, don't owe favors to other politicians, and have a conscience. Every week we could watch people compete in a competition that would actually matter. Everyweek could have a theme like taxes, gay marriage, illegal immigration, and mistresses do you have any? The politican would give there take on the subject for 5 minutes. If this is not enough we hook all of the politicians up to lie detectors to make sure they are 100% honest with the public! Maury could come out with his big ass envelope and say... "So Senator Smith...you said you voted against big tobacco....the lie detector test deterimed.....THAT'S A LIE!!!!" All the politicians still in good standing would get all wild like those dudes who aren't the father on Maury's show now ex: Senator Jacobson " OH!! WHAT MAURY!!! I TOLD YOU SO....uh uh IN YO FACE, HELLS YEAH!!!!!!" In the end the person gets an automatic bid for presidential or state election based on our votes by calling or texting in to a number!

2. Iron Chef America + What Not to Wear = Crap to Queen in 1 Hour!

I say we make different people in fashion compete in a Kitchen Arena like atmosphere to see who can make their "hot mess" of a person look better in only 1 hour! A Japanese guy known as "The Chairman" would get the fashion people together...give them equally hideous dressers based on viewer submissions of people who really need it. Then they would get to square off using a secret ingredient...The Chairman could yell what it is at them.... "Today's secret ingredient is LIME GREEN CORDUROY!" (dramatic music) Then the contestants would have 1 hour to get the person looking good by using the secret ingredient. We would also get a super flamboyant gay guy to do the play by play on the sidelines ..."Okay..so he has the fabric...is he making gouchos?? Oh he is! Those are FAB-U-LUS!!!" After the hour was up they would get to submit the person to 3 judges who could say what was done wrong or right (hopefully in a way that is kinda mean to the person who is getting fixed up) and pick a winner. The winner stays until they are beaten by someone in the upcoming weeks!

3. Lockup + Celebrity Rehab = SHUT THE HELL UP! YOU ARE IN REHAB WEATHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!

In this Exciting new show we would make a small prison and randomly abduct celebrities that we know are addicts and we force them to change. We put them in cells against there will with gigantic mean actors whom the celebrities would think were actual inmates from other prisons. Maybe Charlie sheen would stop craving sex and drugs so much when his 350lbs. of muscle cell mate that goes by "Death Raper" (real name Chuck Johnson) threatens him every day that he will do terrible things to him, and if he hears about him sleeping around he has people on the outside that will gut him! We would scratch Dr. Drew and instead have armed guards that could say encouraging things like "Don't you eyeball me boy! I will billy club you in the face" or " If I find anything in this room that isn't supposed to be here I will throw you in a cell with (group of different ethnicity with some cool name) and let them turn you inside out!" Not only would it be a sobering experience but they could live in fear that at anytime their friends from "the inside" might find them!

4. Pawn Stars + Antiques Road Show = I Don't Care What It's Worth...I'll Give You $30!

In this neato-frito show we take the cast of pawn kings and send them with the cast of antiques road show. The format will be just like the normal antiques roadshow except that when the item is being appraised by the expert standing at his side will be Rick Harrison and Big Hoss and their job will be to snicker after how much the expert says the item is worth and then try to low-ball the owner. Example:

Appraiser: I would say at auction, this belt buckle could go for As much $700.
Owner: OH WOW!
Rick: (chuckles) What? $700? I'll give you $30!
Owner: What...the expert just said $700
Big Hoss: Yeah, but look, he even said it's worn on the edges..I'll be lucky to get $60 resale!
Owner: It was Worn by General lee in the Civil War!
Rick: Okay...I can go as high at $80! that's WAYYY more than anyone else will give you!
Owner: Fine...

Then they could could cut to Rick and Hoss calling the guy a fool cause they are gonna make mad cash off it, and every few minutes we could cut to Chumlee eating a sandwich and giving a thumbs up!

As you can see the there are just a few of my ideas Hollywood. Give me a ring sometime soon and your people can talk to my people ( keep in mind my people are toddlers and small children so don't use big words) and maybe we could work something out? Sorry if there is nothing involving little people, cakes, or families with 2834729034 kids TLC.

Just Remember...you asked for it.

It's not often people need or want my opinion. In fact a lot of the time I don't want my own opinions. I seem to have a way of looking at the world with the eyes of an innocent child...who is on his 3rd marriage to his nag of a wife, hates his job, and it addicted to horse tranquilizers. So as cool as that might seem it's not always so handy.

I got an letter from one of my loyal readers/ friends from high school that reads:

Dear Cody,

You know something I would like to read about in one of your blogs, chuck e cheese. We went there this weekend and I always think its funny how they give each family a stamp so that the kids cant leave with anyone else and you cant leave with any extra kids. I was thinking... I sure don't want to take home anyone elses kids, I have enough already... and no one would want to take my kids, nor would they be able to, my kids would beat someone down before they even got to the door to check the stamps. So yea, I would like it if you would share your thoughts on this

Sincerely Yours,
Sheri Nunez.

PS - You were so HOT in high school!

Well Sheri thanks for the message I gotcha loud and clear. I always do like good challenge. Lets dive into some of the weirdness that is Chuck-E-Cheese. Just Remember though...you asked for it!

First of all, can we all admit that our children are not getting half of the coolness we got from Chuck-E-Cheese? You know what I'm talking about...where the hell did the Animatronic band go? That was the coolest part of Chuck-E-Cheese (or Showbiz Pizza if you were an 80's kid like me). I mean I am 28 now but if my friend called me up and said "Hey, do you wan to see an animatronic gorilla sing Alice Cooper's Schools out for Summer while being backed my an animatronic band?" Um...HELL YEAH I DO! That to me was the best part. I understand that some places actually still have this, here in Vegas it's one half-assed animatronic Chuck-E and some TV screens.

Secondly, why the hell would you make your mascot a Rat (yes, according to the company he is a mouse....but seriously...if that is not a rat I don't want to know what a rat looks like)? I mean most people would like to keep rats as far away from themselves and their food as possible. I think it might have been a dare the CEO made to see how gullible we are.

CEO: Hey Phil, Dare me to scrap the name Showbiz pizza and rename it Chuck-E-Cheese.

Phil: You sure that's a good Idea Sir?

CEO: Why not, people are stupid! I'll Even replace the mascot with a Rat!

Phil: You mean a cute lil mouse Sir? like Mickey Mouse, or Tom from Tom and Jerry, or Pixie and Dixie Sir?

CEO: No, I mean a big fat ugly ass rat! I mean buck teeth, huge nose, and annoying voice. Who cares? I mean sure they carried the fleas that carried the black plague, and to have them in a restaurant would equal a shut down by any health department but I'm rich! Screw the plebeians!!!

Now on to the topic at hand (or hand stamping if you will...ho ho ho...clever). For those of you who don't know, Chuck-E-Cheese has an attendant at the front desk that stamps your hand with a number in ultraviolet ink and stamps all your kids to with the same number, that way when you go to leave they can check your stamps and be sure they match so some weirdo or pedophile doesn't snatch your kid! Sounds pretty good in theory right. The concept is that as parents you don't have to keep a close eye on you kids now because they can't leave the joint!

A.) Why can't they leave? The 73 yr old man or the 17 yr old 105 lb. girl working the front desk aren't going to be able to stop someone if they really want your kid. It's ultraviolet ink! It's not the collars from The Running Man that are going to make you head explode if you try to leave (although that would be cool to see).

B.) This is just an excuse for lazy ass parents to not watch their stinky kids! I mean why wouldn't you want to share in Ski-ball, or Street Fighter 2 with you kids? These are supposed to be times you can laugh together and make memories.

C.) What the Hell do parent's have to do that is So important at Chuck-E-Cheeses they can't watch their kids? I mean you are obviously not going to be eating? Who they heck wants to eat pizza that tastes like a laminated jockstrap covered in oil? How is the pizza already cold when you get it? I would SERIOUSLY be 100% happier if they just gave me a $1 Totinos Pizza! I don't even tell my kids about the starving children in Africa when they refuse to eat it, I actually am impressed and say..."Good for you kido! Diarrhea is no fun! Go play some games!"

D.) Pedophiles and weirdos are sick, not retarded! I mean its not even like they are using a complicated system. They use a regular rubber stamp with like 4 digits, and ultraviolet ink that you could pick up from anywhere. On that note it might be fun to stamp your kids like 100's of times all over their bodies before you go just to see the front desk persons eyes when you leave.

E.) I sure as hell hope it wasn't an issue with normal folks getting home and going " Ah poop Janet! We brought the wrong Damn kids home again! If only there was a better way! When will science catch up to our stupidity!"

Well Sheri, thanks for the letter and I hope my glance at Chuck-E-Cheese didn't let you down. I'm also glad you realize I was like catnip to girls in high school and was as you put it "Hot."

P.S.- Okay she didn't have a PS on her letter saying I was hot! Is it so wrong to want to feel wanted! Stop Judging me! Fine, I don't need this..I'm getting my ink pad and going out for some pizza!

My Proposal For Fixing The Oil Disaster And Creating A "Grip" Of Jobs!

So if you couldn't tell by the title of today's blog I have come up with an awesome solution to fix the oil crisis in the Gulf of Mexico and create jobs!

Step 1. Men, what do you do when you have something in your home that is leaking, destroying everything around it, bringing sadness and fear to those in that environment....stick a tampon in it right! So step one will be to build the worlds second largest tampon (slightly smaller than Lindsay Lohan's)! This will require ruffly 700 million pounds of cotton! So we will have to hire millions of unemployed Americans to help grow the cotton (supporting Americas farms rock!) and we will need millions to help construct the tampon (creating a "grip" of jobs). Now I know what you are thinking...Cody....how the hell will we get the giant tampon to the wellhead without it absorbing all the water before it gets to the oil? MORE JOBS!!!! WE GET TO MAKE THE WORLDS LARGEST PLASTIC APPLICATOR (Lohan uses cardboard)! I am proposing we make it from 100% recycled plastic from our nations landfills (Saving the earth too..damn son)! And afterward we can donate sections of it to local skate parks as half pipes (helping fight Americas childhood obesity situation...and yes...MORE JOBS!). We would also get to hire major companies all over the country to build a giant finger and millions of nail technicians to french tip the giant finger needed to work the applicator! But Cody....Tampons don't last forever right? No they do not, that is why we will have to construct a gigantic retrieval string, and a box of several thicknesses of oil spill tampons (for those lighter days...more and more jobs). Also as many of you ladies know, tampons can be scented so here is a chance to make the gulf smell nice too! We could do vanilla, sugar cookie, pine, or my personal fave New Car!!! Then we can simply ring out the millions of barrels of oil from the tampons and recycle the cotton (More jobs). I would Let my good friend Brandon Baird be in charge of this one, he once fixed a radiator leak in my t-bird with a tampon....he's the man (although it took us 6 men like 2 hours to figure out how the applicator worked).


Step 2. We will still have all the oil in the water and on the animals, so I am saying we get the good people at Mr. Clean to create the worlds largest Magic Eraser! Lets face it...there is nothing those things can't clean up! I'm not sure if they sold their souls to Satan to come up with this brilliant product but they rock. So we will have to construct large ships to move the eraser up and down the gulf and wash the oil off the water and animals (Mo Jobs, Mo Jobs, Mo jobs)!

Step 3. Now there are cracks in the pipes causing slower leaks as well Cody.. our giant tampons won't fix them right? Men already know where this is going.....Duct Tape! Is there anything Duct tape can't fix (it fixes clothes, cracks, tears, pipes, my friend Jeff's bong, marriages). So we simply tape up the cracks and forget about it!

So how many jobs did I just create....um...millions! did I save the environment....Yes! All I ask for in return America is you help me pay off my student loans, and get me a PS3.....pretty fare trade!

My Bucket List.

The Movie ' The Bucket List' has inspired many people to create their own bucket lists. A bucket list for those of you who live under rocks (or in Texas/Utah) is a list of things you would like to do before you die or "kick the bucket" so today I thought I would share 5 of the things on my bucket list with you.

CODY'S SUPER BUCKET LIST

1. I want to run for public office! Not so much because I would like to win an election but because I would like to do what all the butt-holes in Vegas do and litter my City with catchy campaign signs. Not only would I put up a gross amount of signs but they would have messed up slogans. Such as "CODY WILCOX FOR MAYOR...GETTING SEX OFFENDERS OFF THE STREET...AND BACK IN THE CLASSROOM!" or "CODY WILCOX FOR SHERIFF ..... CAUSE THOSE PUPPIES AREN'T GOING TO PUNCH THEMSELVES!" or "IF YOU LIKE QUIET NEIGHBORHOODS, LOWER TAXES, AND HIV ....VOTE CODY WILCOX FOR DISTRICT 5 COMPTROLLER!" Then in the end it would just be great to see how many votes I actually got!



2. I want to teach English to those who do not speak it. I think teaching an ESL class would be fun because I can teach them how to speak incorrectly. I would teach them words like aint, pea-can (pecan), warsh (wash), britches (pants), crick (stream). I would also make sure that all my movies we watched in class contained a silly amount of poor English (Casino, New Jack City, Boyz N the Hood) and I think we would take a field trip to New Jersey...that would mess um up!

3. Fight Childhood obesity...literally. I'm just saying that going 4 rounds bare knuckle boxing in and effort to stop fat kids from getting fat might be good for them. It would give them plenty of exercise, would give them some positive self esteem, might feel like a punishment for eating to much (especially when every time I land a blow I say "that's for the porkchop!"), and if nothing else, learning how to get out of a rear naked choke is it's own reward!

4. Eat at Jason's Deli and not get Diarrhea (long shot right......been there 5 times....yet to not get the squirt-aroos)




5. Go to every hospital in Vegas and fill out intake forms based on 80's song lyrics. I would have symptoms such as "I got a bad case of loving you," being "unable to fight this feeling anymore, along with not being able to remember what I started fighting for." ...I would always ask if I could see "Dr. Feelgood because he is the one that makes me feel all right!" and my personal favorite would be saying that that "I seem to have an invisible touch, that is reaching in a grabs a hold of my heart/slowly tears me apart!"

Sure they may not seem as lofty as other peoples goals...but to each his own. Don't forget to vote for me next week...or you're pro date rape and cookies!

A Real Hero,

I feel that most of the time when we think about a hero we think about celebrities, athletes, and world leaders but seldom think about our parents enough. I know some of us would say our parents if we were forced to name a hero but even then I'm not sure if we ever have a good reason for it. My mother is a hero because she is a better person than I am and does things that require super human strength and abilities.

My mother has been a dental hygienist for as long as I can remember. She has always been a model employee, and taken a genuine interest in her co-workers and employers. She has also always been the bread winner in our house (doesn't take much when you marry a teacher). Nothing about this sounds super human right? oh but it is...

We moved to Bullhead City Arizona just a few weeks before my 7th birthday from our modest home in Laramie Wyoming. I remember I constantly found myself being in and out of trouble as a child between fighting, threatening teachers, and doing everything bad a child could do...I was out of control. My mother had told me that the move was a chance to start over and that I could change anything I wanted to when I got to Az. I however, didn't take advantage of it and still found myself getting in just as much trouble despite my parents trying everything to help me.

My Mother found work at a Local dental office called Valley Dental under a Dr. White. It was and still is a small office in an okay part of town. She spent her days doing the work there and always said that while her boss was odd he was a good dentist that did top notch work. I got to know her boss a little better when he became my little league coach. Dr. White was an okay coach but made it very apparent that he could care less what his children did. His son Willy seemed to spend the time he could have used playing baseball on our team making fun of me. I remember it finally came to a head and when I confronted him in front of our coach/his father I was told I was in the wrong and Willy wasn't doing anything and when I yelled at Willie His dad pushed me to the ground in front of my mother. I knew then this was a special guy.

It wasn't to long after we moved to Bullhead that my mother was Diagnosed with Lupus. In it's most basic terms it is a autoimmune disease that causes the body to attack itself. Lupus seems to have the most effect on the destroying of connective tissues like ligaments and tendons which don't repair easily even in a healthy body. Needless to say that was the root of her Rheumatoid arthritis which most diagnosed with Lupus do have. I remember how brave she was and how worried I was that it was more serious. As a dental hygienist this was a tuff blow because every night she would come home and you could see the swelling and pain she was having in her knuckles from all the repetitive use of her hands and the breakdown and inflammation of those tissues. She also battled thyroid cancer and had her thyroid gland alone which can cause some pretty adverse effects as well, and all this and still showed up for work nearly every day. How many of us could have done that?

During her time at the office she sat through A LOT of Drama. My mother always seemed to end up playing the Jimmy Cricket roll at her work and had to talk sence into her boss since he lacks every social grace known to man. Finally in the last few years the drama has come to a spearhead when the Dr. got a divorce from his wife. His wife (who is out of his league in the looks dept.) had worked hard to put him through dental school but it apparently wasn't enough when he decided to cheat on her with an assistant (younger than some of his children) and start a new family with her. As you can imagine this didn't stay under wraps that well in small town. When word of the affair with the young gold digger got out business took a huge hit (and all this at the beginning of the recession!!! hooray!!!) Even though all of this happened the new Mrs. White got promoted to Office Manager...(I'll take business ethics for $1000 Alec) I had assumed that after this she would jump ship like the others since her boss had finally proved he was a soulless creep.

I remember being SO pissed at her when she told me she had no intention of leaving the office. (This is where the super human part comes in) She told me that what he had done was very wrong, but everyone makes mistakes and he needed some stability in the office and it should be her. The Guy hadn't even given her a raise in over 20 years. She made the same wage she was making in the 80's, she has to deal with the abomination that is his new marraige on a daily basis, he proved his lack of leadership by doing this and driving their number of patients into the ground !!!!! WHO COULD STAND FOR THIS!!!! IT WOULD HAVE TO TAKE SUPER HUMAN POWERS TO PUT UP WITH THIS BS!!!!

Recently Dr. White after 20 years and after her asking gave my mother a raise. To accompany this raise though he brought in a new hygentist to take over some of my mothers patients cutting her hours in half. She will now loose her benefits because he wants to "change the dynamic of the office." The only women still by his side from over 2 decades ago and this is how he has treats her? She now worries how she will make ends meet since the dental hygiene clinic at the community college opened in Bullhead jobs in the field have been scarce (which yes my mom did work at at the college part time in the program...so she was helping create her own doom). Through all of the Dr.s highs and lows my mother backed her boss even when all he did was bring her down.

My mother worked everyday with severe arthritis, put up with her boss being a retard, made a 1989 wage, put up with me being a rotten turd, and still put a home cooked meal on the table every night and always made it clear how much she loved her family. If that isn't super human I'm not sure what is. My mom will always be a hero to me, and should have never had to deal with some of the thing she has. She should go to the cardiologist to check to see if she has an enlarged heart because she loves to much, even those who don't deserve it. So in summation.... Iron Man can Suck it! Lets see him do half of what Maggie Wilcox can do.

Does Hollywood's Weener Hurt From Screwing My Childhood?

Does Hollywood's weener hurt from screwing my childhood? Like a lot of you who read my blog (yes..I realize that's like 6 of you) I am a 80's child which while in fashion it brought us crap in movie and TV it brought us gold. But it seems just when things are looking good Hollywood has to get in there and screw with it. Why can't the great things of my youth just be left alone?

1. The Karate Kid is being remade. WHY??? What the hell was wrong with the first one? I haven't even seen the movie yet and still I can tell it will be crap. Let's start with the title "The Karate Kid," I have only seen the previews and Jackie Chan says "I will teach you real Kung-Fu"..SO WHY ARE WE EVEN CALLING IT THE KARATE KID IF HE IS TEACHING HIM KUNG-FU!!!! Next lets discuss the age of the main character...he is merely a child while Daniel was a high school senior which made it more of a "coming of age" story filled with teenage issues (love, popularity, first car...etc) that made for interesting subplots a lot the way. Mr. Miyagi was from Okinawa Japan, not China...why do we have to mess up his ethnicity? Johnny Lawrence (the blond kid who was the bad guy from the Cobra Kai Dojo) might have been the most awesome teenage bad guy ever of the 80's. Johnny was snotty, rude, Aryan, and had the Billy Idol-esque snear that was great and made you want to hate him, now I have to have hate Chinese school yard bullies...not the same. I don't even know how to cheer "SWEEP THE LEG" in Cantonese.

2. GI-Joe finally hits the big screen and is turned into poop! I'm not sure how in the world GI-Joe managed to be about soldiers in "Super Suits" when that is clearly not what it was about. It was about special forces of the military that dressed a lot like the village people fighting the evil force known as C.O.B.R.A! It had nothing to do with super suits! And NO ONE had bullets in GI-Joe...everything shot lasers that made awesome sounds and never ran out of ammo. Why is Hollywood doing this to me?




3. 'Love Don't Cost a Thing'? I don't know if you were ever sitting down and watching 'Money Can't By Me Love' and thinking this is good but it would be so much better if we had and all black cast and somehow got Nick Cannon involved. BY FAR Patrick Dempsy's best work (sorry all you retards who think Grey's Anatomy is good) as he plays the role of the nerd who rents the hotest/most popular girl in school to make him popular and in the end lessons are learned and love blooms. So in 2003 Hollywood decided it was to good of a thing to leave alone and redid the movie but changed the title because the original title/Beetles hit was too white, got an all black cast, and replaced Dempsy with Cannon (cause cannon pulls off outcast so well). Why don't we recast any movie we didn't feel had enough black people in it. Coming soon Lil Bow Wow can star in a remake of 'Better Off Dead' but we can change the title to 'Betta Off Deceased." I wouldn't Remake 'Boys In The Hood' or 'House Party' with white people....it is prefect the way it is.

4. I'm not 100% but I think they only redid 'The Dukes of Hazzard' in 2005 so we could stare at Jessica Simpson's cleavage for 120min. Another great thing that didn't need to be touched. Johnny Knoxville while I do like him can't act and why is the Stiffler with him? The movie had no plot and worst of all was Burt Reynolds as Boss Hog! WTH happened there? Did we run out of Fat Southern Gentlemen and so we had to cast the Bandit?

The list could go on and on and on. I am not saying all remakes are bad, but if something is not broken lets not fix it! I swear on everything holy if Red Dawn, Goonies, MASK, Small Wonder, or any of this stuff from childhood get raped again I should be allowed to sue. Hollywood has stolen my innocence (and I only thought that happened to waitresses there who were doing porn till the get their big break)!

Finally a FUN Craigslist.

So here is what I am thinking. I want to set up a craigslist but only for the items craigslist will not allow you to sell. That's right, I am talking about weapons, bodily fluids, pet parts, and drugs all at codyslist!

In today's world home burglary is on the rise and you need to be safe! I mean yeah you could spend the money on a security system but you have to make payments and let stangers into your home for install. You could get a guard dog but you have to feed it, water it, and it's not going to be very effective if you don't abuse it so it is mistrusting of humans and distempered. You could also try to rely on the local law enforcement but what if you are not rich and white? If only there was a site that allowed you to buy guns, tazers, nun-chucks, switch blades, anti-aircraft weaponry at low low bargain basement prices from individuals who have no need for them. Imagine the saftey you will feel at night sleeping close to your AK-47, and a box of Cambodian land mines! Locals in your area may be selling their extra weapons at these low prices and my site could connect you with them! Sounds like peace of mind to me!

Suppose your kid comes home (hate it when they do that) and it's that time of year again....SCIENCE FAIR TIME!!! Your daughter Sally was up all night last night watching Mary Shelly's Frankenstein because you passed out after only your 5th beer and 2nd bucket of KFC and forgot to send her to bed. You awake to find that she is set on reanimating your cat "Mr. Pussin Toots III" you buried 3 months ago in the back yard! Sounds like a can't miss blue ribbon at the science fair! Only problem is that Mr. Pussin Toots III died because his kidneys and liver shut down, what are you going to do? With codyslist you could simply scroll to the "Animal Parts" section and find many local people area with just the parts you need! Even though you might not find a cat liver...maybe you find a weener dog liver, the experiment just got cooler! What Fun! Imagine your kid taking top honors in the science fair despite all the times you told them they would amount to nothing just like their whore mother!

I know that if you're like me you are sitting around with all these stupid fluids! I constantly find myself thinking..."Wow, I have so much extra blood, plasma, urine, cerebro spinal fluid, and feces I'm not even using!" Finally you can make some quick cash from selling your bodily fluids and excretions to others! Imagine how well little Sally's reanimated cat will be running on your AB+ blood and plasma! Who knows, maybe there are constipated teens that really want to light bags of their feces on fire on an old mans front porch but they are all constipated! here is your chance to get paid from sitting around and doing crap LITERALLY!!!!

If you haven't noticed, our health care in the US has something to be desired. A lot of our elderly can't afford their medications and meanwhile alot of us have old prescription meds or meds we have made that we are not even using! Finally grandma can get the Diazepam and Plavix fix she needs all conveniently laced with Flinstone's Vitamins and baking soda (maybe it will get rid of that old person smell she gives off)! Finally, prescription drug and amateur chemist reform in this great country...you're welcome.

Think It's a great idea? suggestions for other sections of codyslist? wonder what prison I blog from? leave some feedback!