It's odd, i always hear stories about people who have to "work" so hard at their marraige. I also remember hearing when I got married "The first year is the hardest!" I guess I have been fortunate in my life to be married to my best friend and the only person who knows how to deal with my retarded self. Life is already so flipping hard that I can't imagine a marriage could make it harder? I mean I view Rhea as the person I am lucky enough to be stuck in a foxhole with in our war against the the poopy ol' world. I know that she has my back and I would hope she knows that I have hers.
I remember was I was a teenager and I "fell in love with a girl." Remember when you were a teen and you thought you knew what love was? You thought it was needing to be touching that person at all times? you thought it was sharing important views such as whatever, totally, like you know, and more whatever? If that person left you, you just lost it? Life was over? Then you grow up, you date around, you realize that there is more to another person than just looks and that personality and ideologies are just as important? You realize that just because there is a mile of difference between your first love/puppy love and what love really is?
I would say love is more that an attraction, more that common interests, and more than a chemical reaction, it's more than just agreeing that RoboCop could totally kill the Terminator. It is 2 people going for a common goal of eternal happiness that constantly puts the other person in front of themselves (unless we are talking about a hostage/human shield scenario in which case putting yourself in front of them is putting them in front of you....That makes sense right?)
Can people really fall out of love? Or can they just no longer find ways of putting that person ahead of their own needs? Is it simply a matter of selfishness?
Lately the wife and I have been at each others throat because of the stress of her co-workers not showing up to work to help her out. And I have to watch 5 kids, work at F&E, go to school, and some how get sleep. Today we had another fight and I wonder if maybe it takes time to put others needs ahead of our own and we are just lacking time? Is our marraige on the ropes? I think not, but I have never been in a situation like this before. Something has got to give somewhere...but where?
Nothing gives Cody. You just have to both realize that the situation sucks for right now, apologize for the hurtful things and just keep going. Leaving each other is never an option, and you know it's all good when you're writing a blog about you fighting with your wife, and still talking about how in love you are with her. It's just how it is. Allan and I are at each others throats a lot, but we just view things differently, that's all. Sometimes we take time to embrace the differences, and sometimes we don't. Doesn't mean anything about our marriage being bad, just life getting in the way..........and our huge ego's.
ReplyDeleteI love what you said about falling out of love, vs. being selfish. I think that maybe it's a necessary selfish that you both are going through. You have to finish school, and she has to work. Nothing you can do, and it sucks it at the same time. You can vent to the spouse and get sympathy, cause they are going through the same stresses, but different. Just keep coming back to praying and reading your scriptures and snuggling. It'll all work out. Just keep on it and keep telling her you love her.